3 Mar
Saw a video of Kanye talking his shit about rainbows and how they are fresh. You can’t make this kind of shit up. A quote:
As straight men, we need to take the rainbow back.
I love how ‘fresh’ is a rap term. I just imagine a bunch of hardcore gangsters tending to their wee gardens, and digging out their fresh beats. Rainbows can’t be fresh, they aren’t fruit, they’re spectrums mothafuckah!
2 Mar
Cops are straight out of the movies on the QEW now. They built this little lane on the inside of the QEW, so that cop cars can build up speed and shoot out of there like a fucking trap-door spider. So you are just chilling listening to your Britney Spears record and boom there is a cop on the highway, lights blazing, going 120 km/hr!
21 Oct
/ How is skinny wristers supposed to ball out in watches? All the cool watches are huge and dwarf all my skinny shit. I cant wait till the trend reverses and small watches are wicked.
/ Kanye’s Album is going to be fucking swaiiiiitt.
/ My new saying is that I am “on that big chillout, papabear shit.” Detonate that.
17 May
Natalie said it best, “Being unemployed is the best thing to happen to our bodies.”
Its so true. Gym is way more productive now cause I’m not thinking about how I’m wasting my free time. God knows I’m pushing the human limits of how much video games one man can play in a day.
16 May
Sometimes I get the sense that I am on a secret reality-TV gameshow. I’m surrounded by tripped out people and people at home are watching week after week to see how long I’ll last as a competent human being. How long before the haze gets to me. That said, I am fully intending on singing up for those sweet sweet EI cheques, so I really can’t say shit. Haha.
“Fuck that I’ll last, here I am about to update my resume and you guys are tripping balls and spitting coffee into bowls.”
12 May
The wedding was amazing, but it was a journey.
> Nearly got caught by the 4-5 speed traps on the highway going 140.
> At 2:30pm I realized I forgot to bring my belt and I was going to have to geek it out with glasses cause I brought two left-eye contacts. But seriously, who brings a suit to a wedding with no belt??? (Answer: doucebag B). I ran out of the hotel across the street to Sears where I bought a shitty belt to do me over.
> 2:47pm me and Natalie get into the cab, and this guy has no idea where we are going. After him going in the opposite direction for a while, we just make it to the wedding — which is outdoors, in a mini forest.
> Wedding is over, and we are too shy to ask all the people at the wedding we don’t know for a ride. We call the cab company again and get some static from the operator (I need a number and street name? 74 National Com Driveway. That’s not on our system). After 20 or so minutes we are just about to start hitchhiking to a downtown area, when the cab shows up.
> Arriving at the hotel of the wedding reception, we are both burnt out and take a stroll to a quicky-mart for Gatoraide (brian) and cigs (natalie). Natalie was cold, so she had my suit coat on as she sat at the outdoor patio table smoking, while I drained a purple Gatoraide and watched the bustle of downtown. It was a pretty damn classy scene. My GQ magazines at home would be proud.
> We had about 30 mins to kill before the ceremony, natalie grabs some equipment from the hotel pharmacy to re-paint her nails. At this point, we require immediate liquor and hit up the hotel mainfloor bar. Sitting there are some people our age who we saw at the wedding: Liz (sexy music student), lianne (wild law student) and derek. Me and natalie had some whisky, and we all shot the shit before getting to the reception.
> At table 9, we sat with Derek, Lianne, Liz and a few others. Everyone got pretty fucking tanked, and at some point the girls stole Table 1’s number so that we would get served dessert first. We all danced till we could not feel our legs, and at the risk of bragging, I had a couple of good lines that night too.
> At 11pm, me and natalie were blitz and tired as hell, so we hit the hotel quicky-mart for some chips and water, and hightailed it to the hotel, and had the greatest sleeps of our respective lives. The next day we went to see the parliament buildings and I saw a banjo busker. Respect.
10 May
This is an unholy hour. Unemployed are not meant to be up this early.
Well, off to Ottawa for a wedding. Its a good thing they are serving steak.
9 May
It’s mother fucking 2008, and the summer of buffness has returned! Its morphed into the roommates of buffness, a competition between me and my roommates for personal goals…
My goal is to gain a bunch of weightage.
The formula is pretty simple this summer round: eating + weight lifting – excessive running. By the end of August I am hoping for a 15 pound gain, moving my BMI from a sketchy 19/20 to a solid 22.
Starting weight as of May 9th: 150.8 lbs!
